My Version of iStill Psycho
by Stupendous Seddie
Summary: This was my speculation of iStill Psycho. Now finished! Goes along with most of the promos in my own little way. Thank you everyone who liked my VERY FIRST STORY EVER! Eep!     StupendousSeddie
1. Prologue

Carly POV

I understood why they needed to break up. It just wasn't working out the way that they were hoping it to – And to be honest, I didn't think it was working either. They just _weren't_ acting Sam and Freddie-ish. They had a beautiful friendship at the moment, and maybe when they get back together – which I knew they would – they would have a beautiful relationship.

I didn't mean to be randomly thinking about Sam and Freddie right now. But with us being locked – _once again _– in crazy Nora's basement, it was hard to ignore their secret glances that weren't so secret. I just wanted to make 'em hug or something. One of them would look at each other, they would look back, and then the other would look away…

Why did this happen to us? Why did Spencer just _have _to go to Olympia for their special air freshener and _why _did he have to tweet about it? And _why _didn't Spencer block Nora from seeing that tweet so she wouldn't come to the Air Freshener House and put bags over our heads, then drag us out to her car and lock us back up in her dad's recording studio?

I don't even wanna _know_ what they've done with Spencer. Nora probably tied him to a chair and propped up her demented chicken so he could peck him in the face. Before they separated us from Spencer, he whispered something to me. He said "Don't worry, little sister. I have a plan." Well, what was his plan? I was scared, yes. I wanted to go home, yes. And most importantly, _yes_, I wanted Sam and Freddie to stop acting like children and actually have an intelligent conversation with each other so I could focus already.


	2. iThink It's Not Working

Sam POV

I can't believe that we're here _again._ I mean, what did we do? Ya wanna know a tip from me, kids? Never post yourself on the Internet. It'll only get you locked in an insane chick's basement. I looked over at Freddie to see if the wheels in his head were spinning with a plan. I knew I shouldn't have, though. Every time I look at him, something compels me to keep looking.

I'm not gonna lie. I didn't miss what we had. The way I called him 'baby' was _kinda _weird. I do miss some of the things about us being 'together', though. I loved the way he would brush my hair with that stupid vibrating hairbrush. It meant less work for me.

And yeah, I loved the way he would kiss me – any time, anywhere. He would just… Kiss me and let me know that he was there and… He let me know that whenever I woke up, I would have someone to lean on.

His kisses had all the power in the world for me.

But, ya know… Not everything could have a fairytale ending. I still loved him, though. And I knew that he loved me, too. That's all I needed to know. Just because we loved each other doesn't mean we could just _date _and kiss and be a couple. Which is why I was confident that Freddie and I would get back together. We do love each other and we couldn't avoid that love no matter how hard we tried. We couldn't go out with each other, we couldn't go out with other people. Stupid, stupid love.

I snapped out of my trance when I found him starting to lift his eyes to meet mine. I turned my head away like my life depended on it. Carly pounded her fist into her side and growled.

"What?" I asked, confused.

We had settled that we weren't gonna complain about being in here. When we complained, she could hear. And if she heard us complaining, she tried to cheer us up. And when she tried to cheer us up, she talked. And dear God, that voice was annoying.

Carly looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "I didn't say anything," she defended, talking quickly.

I put my hands up in surrender, not wanting _her_ to go psycho with claustrophobia. I'm pretty sure that just talking to her couldn't set her off, but I wasn't risking it, no, sir. Freddie and I couldn't calm her down if we tried. And of course, we _were _trying to get out of here.

"Hey, friends!" Nora's voice rang loud and clear through the intercom. WAY too loud and clear.

"Turn it down!" Freddie snarked at her.

Through the window, Nora looked offended. She raised her hand to her heart. "Now, Freddie, you don't have to yell at me. I can hear you," she said, like we were the jank people here.

Me, Carly, and Freddie looked at each other in pure agony. We put on mock smiles and looked at her. "Sorry, Nora," we replied with fake, cheery voices in unison.

"OKAY, we can be friends again!" she shouted and hugged herself.

"Hey, um, Nora?" Carly stuttered. "Why is it so hot in here?" she asked.

"Because I turned up the heat, silly lobster!" she stated like it was totally obvious.

"But… Why?" Carly continued.

"So you won't be tempted to go through the heating vent! Not that you could reach it or anything!"

"But if we can't reach it, why would you turn it on?" Freddie.

I was just sitting in the corner trying to hold back my yelling. If she said _one _more annoying thing, I would go _all_ invisible ninja on her scrawny butt.

"Now don't be a bossy noodle! There are towels in the corner if you get sweaty!"

That's it.

I walked to the front of the box. "Shut it, Nora! The food you're giving us sucks, your stupid chicken sucks, you suck, and I wouldn't use those towels to wipe my a-"

Thank God Carly didn't let me finish that sentence. Her hand came over my mouth from behind. No… This wasn't Carly's hand… It was hard and rough and dry. Freddie. Freddie's other arm wrapped around my waist to keep me from struggling, which didn't stop me. He kept his hand there, despite my biting.

"I'm sorry, Sam, could you repeat that? It seems that my microphone was picking up a language that I don't understand," the mental girl joked.

I lunged forward only to be pulled back towards Freddie. Who needs lunging? The stupid maxi-glass wouldn't let me out anyway.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Nora shouted. Ah, stop with the shouting! "Do you guys wanna meet my parents?"


	3. iOnly Had Two Seconds

Freddie POV

"Do we wanna meet your _parents_?" I repeated in shock.

Sam took my moment of weakness and elbowed me in the ribcage. I released her and clutched my bruised outer-stomach in pain. I loved her, but she could put you in a hospital.

"Wait! Your _parents _know that you kidnapped us?" Carly screeched.

"Oh, Carly… I didn't _kidnap _you! We're having a slumber party!" she exclaimed whilst jumping up and down in excitement.

She didn't belong in prison. She belonged in an insane asylum.

"This isn't a _slumber party_, you nutcase," Sam stated in annoyance.

"Sam!" Carly whisper-shouted at her, not wanting Nora to kill them for anything Sam says.

Or at least that's what I assume Carly was whisper-shouting about – Because if I were to whisper-shout about something… It would be that.

"Where's Spencer, Nora? And where's Gibby?" Sam yelled, finally realizing that the chunky, random boy was missing.

I grabbed Sam's arm and pulled her closer to me as a plan formed in my head. If you could see the thought bubble floating above me, that was probably why.

"What?" she snapped.

I cupped my hands around her ear. "Would you shut up for just two seconds? I have a plan!"

"Secrets don't make friends!" Nora sang over the intercom.

She growled, which eventually turned into a smirk. She held up two fingers, meaning that she literally was only allowing me two seconds to prove myself. Well, then, better get the ball rolling.

"Hey, Nora?" I asked.

"Yes, Freddie?"

"We would just _love _to meet your parents," I told her.

"Oh, goodie! Then I'll go get them for you!" she started skipping towards the steps.

"No, wait! What I meant was that we would _really _love to _hug _your parents," I said, smiling.

I saw Sam's smirk widen out of the corner of my eye as she caught on to where I was going. Carly still looked confused as ever.

"Well… I suppose you could come with me! I'm absotutely-positutely sure that they'd love to hug you, too!" Nora conceded.

Sam chimed in. "But oh shoot!"

"What?" Nora asked.

"We can't hug them if we're locked in here…" Sam looked down at her feet, upset because she couldn't hug Nora's parents.

She's such a good actress. That's what she gets for taking third place in the Washington State lying competition.

Carly caught on and started smiling.

"Well, you'll _have _to come upstairs!" she walked towards the door with the key that could give us freedom.

Just when we were about to hear the _CLICK_, she stopped and ripped the key out.

"Wait just a darn tootin moment!" she said, stretching out the word 'wait'.

God, she was annoying.

"Are you sure you're not gonna bolt when I let you out?"

"Of course not!" Sam shouted in fake disbelief. "What kind of friends do you take us for?"

"Well, okay…" Nora said, deciding that she forgave us. "Just let me go tell my parents that you're coming!"

Her snort laughter filled the air as she raced upstairs clumsily.

"Wait, guys," Carly stopped us.

"What?" I responded, hushed.

"When she lets us out of _here_, what do we do? Do we run for it? Do we follow her? Where's Spencer? Where's Gibby? I really don't wanna meet her parents. What if they're insane like her? I wanna go home. I can't take it in here!"

The questions and statements flew out of her mouth at top speeds. She kicked the wall and started making tiny squeaks and noises. Was it just me, or did she sound like a baby lamb? She crammed herself into the corner and sank down to the floor, going into the fetal position, hugging her knees to her chest. She rocked back and forth and squeezed her eyes shut, singing 'La la la la la la la', like that would make the situation disappear.

"Carly…" Sam said as she squatted down next to her. "Carly, look at me…"

Carly raised her eyes towards Sam.

"When Nora lets us out, do _not _run for it, okay?" she asked.

Carly nodded her head repeatedly.

"And don't make any sudden movements. Don't talk, don't ask questions, don't make any noises, okay?"

Carly kept nodding her head through the entire speech.

"Good," Sam praised, helping Carly to her feet.

Nora clonked back downstairs, walked straight to the door and let us out. I honestly wasn't expecting my plan to work this easily. I was expecting _some _resistance on Nora's part. But nope, she was stupid, the way she needed to be for the time being.

The unbalanced girl led us up the stairs, calling out her every thought.

"Step, step, step, step, oh, there's no step there! Just kidding, there is one! Step, step, step…"

She led us into her living room, where a middle aged woman sat reading a book; _When Crows Attack Your Daughter's Nose._

"Hi, mom!" Nora shouted.

"Nora, sweetie… And you must be the iCarly people! _So _glad you could join us for Nora's _permanent _sleepover."

Sam and I exchanged worried glances, which soon turned to looks of determination – Determination to get the fudge outta here.

The obviously _also _crazy mother took a step forward to specifically me. "And _you _have gotta be Freddie."


	4. iWatch It Unfold

**Look at me, using an author's note and whatnot. Well, anyway, this chapter is shorter than all the others. It's just that writing in Carly's POV is only interesting if she's yelling. This is just her watching what's going on. After reading all the comments on Youtube for the iStill Psycho promo, a LOT of people wanna see Sam get mad if Nora makes a move on Freddie. So here we go.**

Carly POV

"_And _you _have gotta be Freddie_," the crazy older woman inquired.

Before Freddie could respond, Nora answered for him. "Yeah…" she snorted. "Freddie's my boyfriend."

Freddie started choking on his own spit while I patted him on the back. Sam just stood there, smirking at the mother and daughter.

"You both are delusional messes," she said.

She's gonna get us killed.

"_My daughter _is not delusional," the woman said. "If she says that Freddie is her boyfriend, it can't possibly be a lie!"

"That's right," Nora said. "I always tell the truth!"

Freddie straightened out as I went to stand by Sam. Her smirk had turned into a chilling grimace aimed at the crazy females.

"Isn't that right, Freddie?" Nora asked, while taking steps closer to Freddie.

I felt Sam stiffen up at my side. Her scowl quickly turned into a growl as she reached out and clutched the back of Nora's shirt. She pulled her closer and quickly spun her around. Sam grabbed Nora's non-existent shirt collar with both hands and brought her to her own eye level. And with this position, she breathed out one word at Nora.

"_Mine_."

Sam wasn't a jealous person, but she was possessive. And Freddie was hers.


	5. iShort It Out

Sam POV

I released Nora with a shove towards her mom and staggered backwards to stand between Carly and Freddie. She could put a bag over my head, lock me in a recording studio and make me eat crap, but she could _not _go near Freddie.

Freddie kissed my cheek and put his hands on my shoulders to calm me down. Our friendly gestures were a little more friendly than most people's, but they worked.

"Just let us go, Nora!" Carly complained.

"I'm afraid you children will be here for… Quite a while," the mom said.

We had yet to learn her name. I bet it was something embarrassing.

"Yeah, Nora." I shook Freddie off of me and took a step closer to her with my clenched fists raised.

And then she started barking at me. That's not weird.

But it got me to slowly walk away. It looked like she was about to bite me.

"Oh, _c'mon_!" Freddie yelled. "It's New Years Eve, don't you have anything better to do than kidnapping innocent children?"

Nora gasped, like she remembered something. "Oh my GOD, mom, it's New Years Eve! Let's go make snacks for our guests."

"Nora, I don't think we should leave our guests alone-"

"I SAID LET'S GO MAKE SOME SNACKS!" Nora interrupted her, scaring us all.

Her mom ran into the kitchen, most likely to get away from her daughter. Nora smiled.

"I'll be right back, friends," she said while skipping after her.

As soon as the door connecting the kitchen and the living room closed, Freddie spoke.

"Okay, what _is _that?" he yelled, clutching the back of his head.

"What is what?" Carly asked.

"This beeping in the back of my head, it's been going off for the last ten – Oh my God," he said, starting off with one thought and finishing another.

"What? What is it?" I pestered.

"The chip! My mom's trying to find us!" he yelled.

Why did he look scared? That should be a _good _thing.

"Well, that's good!" Carly answered for me.

"_No_, it's not! If she comes here, the Dershlit monsters will lock us _all_ - Me parece hamburguesas que se llena de piojos en la cabeza."

Okay, now I _know _he's pulling my mustard. "What was that?" I yelled.

Well, we didn't have that much time before she got back.

"C'mon, let's just try to get out of here!" Carly said as she raced to the door.

She jiggled the handle and kicked the bottom. "It's locked."

"The windows," Freddie suggested.

I walked over to the side and threw a chair at the window, which bounced back and almost crushed me. "It's maxi-glass."

"Si los árboles de Navidad puede hablar, ¿qué dicen acerca de su acné de vuelta?" Freddie added randomly.

"Shut up!" Carly and I yelled while walking back to him in the center of the room.

"Yeah, well, what did you expect from a questionable Venezuelan tracking chip doctor?" he defended. "We have to make this stop!"

I used the first solution that came to me. I smacked him upside the head. He winced and I grabbed his shoulder to steady him. He looked at me.

"Hitting me in the head isn't gonna make the chip stop working!"

"Well, how do we make it stop?" Carly asked.

"I don't know, I guess we'd have to… short it out somehow," he said, struggling for the right words.

I have an idea. It may work, it may not, but at least I get to have a little fun in the process. I brushed past him, touching his chest with my hand briefly, to get to my backpack that they had stolen from me a few hours ago. I took out my water bottle and unscrewed the cap.

"Go like this," I said to Freddie, cocking my head to the side.

"Sam, you are _not _pouring water in my ear!" he resisted.

"Just do it! Quick!" Carly said.

He sighed, but did as he was told. I quickly dumped all the remains out into his ear. He'd be having hearing loss symptoms in the morning, that's for sure.

"Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, stop!" he said, snapping his head back up and taking the bottle from me.

"Well?" I asked.

"Did it work?" Carly added.

He raised his finger, motioning for us to wait a sec.

He smiled slightly. "Yup."

"I was _not _expecting that to work," Carly said.

I shrugged. "Neither did I. I thought it only worked in Nickelodeon shows."

**I thought that last part was clever. Oh and by the way, back in the day, I was solely a Fanfiction **_**reader**_** and I always wondered why authors begged for reviews, saying that it made them update faster. Well, I'm gonna update either way, but I was looking at the reviews while writing this chapter for motivation. So thanks for reading – Much more to come.**


	6. iMyself & I: Fight Night

Freddie POV

My head is drenched.

I had to give Sam credit, though. I wouldn't have thought of that. Then out of nowhere, this man's scream filled the air. Oh my God… Spencer!

"Spencer? Where are you?" Carly yelled.

"He's in the basement!" I confirmed, pointing to the staircase.

All three of us ran towards the stairs, in hopes to find the 'responsible adult'. All we found was a locked door.

"Are you okay?" Carly asked Spencer, giving up on the optimism of just shaking the doorknob.

"I'M ON A WHEEL!"

"Well... Okay… Try and have fun!" Sam suggested.

He started screaming again, presumably being spun around. After a few seconds of all of our ears being pressed to the door, we heard human words.

"Good… Now I can puke."

Well, those weren't very helpful words. I tore myself away from the door, the girls following after me. I placed my hands on the back of the couch and looked down at my feet. I felt like I was seasick… And I was absolutely nowhere near water.

"Freddie, are you okay?" Carly asked.

"You look like you're gonna hurl," Sam added.

All I could do was nod and say "Uh-huh."

Carly groaned and started walking around the room. Sam rubbed the palm of her hand in large circles on my back, probably trying to make me feel better; When, truth be told, it was only making my stomach flip more violently.

She leaned over my shoulder to whisper in my ear. "It's okay, baby."

It took me a minute or two for her words to sink in. Now and then, Sam accidentally called me 'baby' since we broke up, but she always took it back, noting it as a slip-up. But this time she didn't, she just let it hang there, leaving my awkward moment of thoughtful silence lingering in the psychotic air around us.

I stopped relying on the couch for balance and slowly turned to face her. She wasn't smiling or smirking or making a face that said 'Psych, I totally still love you like a not-really-platonic friend'. But she wasn't. She was just staring into my eyes, battling over whether she should say something or not… Just like I was.

I brought my hand to her face and pushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Why? I don't know. I just wanted to see her face – Because she had a beautiful face. And then I found myself leaning. Why? I still don't know.

And then our lips met. Was anybody paying attention to how this was going down? Because I sure wasn't. Can someone give me a quick recap? Like, um… How, did – I mean, how come… It was like my brain was having a fight with itself, bringing all of the different Freddies to one place to hold a meeting.

"Muah-hah-hah-hah-hah! He's doing what he wants!" the wild and free Freddies sang together.

Logical Freddie took off his glasses and stuck them in his front shirt pocket. "He is simply giving into the pressure of his surroundings. He is depending on his love to get him out of his current predicament."

Pressured Freddie kicked his feet up on the table, his knees showing through his ripped blue jeans. "And what's wrong with that, eh?" he asked, motioning with his fingerless, black gloves, his cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

"No… He's doing what he wants!" the wild Freddie sang.

"So he can be with one he cares for…" free Freddie added.

All of these voices were silenced as I reached my hand up to hold Sam's chin.

My choice was made.

**Seddie Claus has just come to town. Anyway, if anyone's wondering, pressured Freddie looks like Judd Nelson as John Bender. Sorry, I just watched **_**The Breakfast Club.**_


	7. iBreak Em Up, Was iSupposed To?

**Okay, so after watching the iStill Psycho promo for the billionth time, I realize that Gibby was supposed to be there for all of it… Oops. So I guess this story really has a mind of its own. 1,2,3, get shizzy (If you know where this reference is from, PM me)! **

Carly POV

This is bad. Why us? Why us? What if we're trapped in here forever? What if Spencer is trapped in the basement forever? What if we never find Gibby? What if – Hey, that's new.

Okay, I appreciate that Sam and Freddie have decided to get all kissy again, but this is not the time.

I clapped my hands together twice like I was calling a dog. "Hey!"

The sound of their lips pulling apart made me feel culpable. Was I supposed to ruin that?

Yeah… I think I had to. "Not now."

Freddie released Sam's chin while her arms remained at her sides. They looked at each other for at least a minute. Freddie was smiling as much as the two situations together would allow. Sam, however, remained confused, if not, _expressionless_, and walked away from him, towards me.

My eyes remained on Freddie, though. He looked hurt, but he also looked like he was expecting it. In other words, I suppose he was hoping for the best and expecting the worst. It looks like the world found a loophole and sprung both of em on him.

So great. Not only is this going to be terrifying, it's now going to be awkward, as well.


	8. iBelieve I Need A Breather

Sam POV

Like… I mean… How was I… So what does this… Huh?


	9. iHave Broken Sam Puckett

Freddie POV

Okay… So I _guess _I was just supposed to, just… I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to do right now. Luckily, Nora and her batty mom saved me. Never thought I'd imagine those words.

"Guess what _I _have?" Nora yelled at top volume.

We were inside, you freak of nature.

A silence filled the air as Nora put the dish filled with green goop on the table. An even larger silence filled the air as she looked at each and every one of us specifically.

"I SAID GUESS WHAT I HAVE?" she yelled after realizing that none of us would answer.

"Guacamole!" the mom yelled.

Nora looked at her in disbelief. "Mom," she whined. "You already knew!" she complained as she stomped her foot.

I'm in a wacky shack. Wait a minute. Guacamole. That's one of Sam's favorites. Sam was _dying _for real food – She's been saying so since we got here. If she doesn't get up off her place on the couch in the next thirty seconds, I must've done something wrong.

After a minute, Sam was still on the couch, her head held in her hands. I was an awful person. I think I've broken Sam Puckett.

Nora had went to put on a record, something that our ancestors used in the stone age. I finally remembered what they actually were when I heard the lyrics that I heard millions of times before in _It's A Wonderful Life_. 'Buffalo Gals, won't you come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight. _Buffalo____Gals_, won't you come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon'.

Nora thought that the song would be more interesting if she sang along, which the mom joined in on. Oh, dear Lord in Heaven. Save us from this witchcraft. The song ended with a few scratchy notes. Nora clapped.

"I have an idea!" Nora gasped.

Carly and I groaned. Sam continued to be silent. Oh God, what did I _do_?

"Let's all wear party hats!"

Carly glanced at Sam and saw the mood that she was in. I personally couldn't decipher it, but maybe that was a special… girl best friend thing.

"We're not wearing party hats," Carly muttered quietly.

"PUT ON THE HATS!"

Oh dear, that even scared me. Carly and I raced to put on our hats while I watched Sam slowly get up, walk to the table, put on a party hat, and sit back down. Now she was in the same position as before, except now she was wearing a ridiculous party hat.

"Now let's dance!" Nora called.

"We're not dancing," Carly muttered quietly.

"DANCE!"

Carly pulled Sam to her feet and started dancing, but Sam didn't. Even I made a sad, awkward attempt at a dance. Sam just stood there, not moving. And as soon as the song was over, she plopped back down on the couch.

"That was fun," Nora said… In full seriousness. What a troubled child.

As Dick Clark's voice filled the house from the prehistoric television set, I knew that this year was coming to an end… And I was spending it here.

**Shall there be a kiss at midnight? Once I figure out how to work the poll thingamabob, I guess we'll find out, now won't we?**


	10. iFound Gibby Claus

Carly POV

My best friend is a zombie. A complete and utter shell of herself. She was just sitting on the couch, holding up her head in her hands. She was staring at the TV screen, but I knew that her mind was somewhere _really _far away. How do I know this? When I tapped her on the shoulder, she grabbed my hand and flipped me over onto the ground.

It wasn't very fun. But at least it got her to snap out of it and assist Nora and Freddie in helping me up. Once I was standing on my own two feet again, I turned towards Sam.

"_You _need to work on your social skills," I told her.

Then I turned towards Nora and looked her up and down. "Screwy!"

After Nora, I turned towards the wacky mother. "First generation screwy!"

The mom took offense and hurried out of the room. Yeah. Offense was intended.

Then I turned to Freddie, only to realize I had nothing to say to him. I knew he was trying to think of a way to get us out of here and that's really all he could do right now.

I moved on to my next victim of judgment. Oh wait, he's not here.

"GIBBY!" I yelled.

Just as I yelled that, something came plummeting down the chimney. And yes, you may or may not have guessed it; Gibby. He had a thick, white, bushy beard and a Santa suit on.

"Gibb!" I exclaimed, happy but confused to see my dancing buddy in this position.

I reached my hand out to help him up, which he accepted, moaning in pain. He hugged his arms to his chest and looked around the room. He was obviously freezing. That's what he gets for being on the roof.

"How many times have I told you that you are _not _Santa Claus?" I scolded.

"Yes, he is," Nora answered, just as Gibby was about to defend himself.

"What do you mean?" Oh, cool, Sam's speaking again. Even if it's four words at a time.

"She _grabbed _me, put a bag on my head, put me in a sack," he stopped to glare at Nora, then continued. "Gave me to some _guy_-"

Nora interrupted him. "Oh, that's my daddy."

"Well, _good _to _know_," Gibby added sarcastically.

Nora took him seriously. "Yeah, he's a sweet guy."

Gibby continued. "He dragged me up a bunch of rock hard stairs, threw me on the roof, untied me, stuck me in the top of the chimney-"

"And why didn't you fall down the chimney… Like just now?" Freddie asked.

Sam went back to looking awkward on the couch. Lovely.

"No," he looked down at his feet and mumbled something that none of us could hear.

"What?" I questioned, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"Because I'm pudgy, okay!"

I held up my hands in defeat.

"Just go on, Gibb," Freddie encouraged, taking a step closer to Nora and looking her in the eyes. "We can tell it all to the _police_."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…" Nora started. "I know this party's great and all, but I don't think it'll get _that _out of hand."

What I saw Sam do next actually reminded me of Homer Simpson. "Why you little…"

Scratch that. She was just like Homer Simpson. She jumped off the couch and wrung her hands around Nora's neck. I tried to peel Sam off of her, but she just kept goin' at it.

"Help me!" I yelled, wondering why the two 'men' weren't doing anything.

Gibby pushed me out of the way and tried to grab Sam, which she didn't tolerate at _all_. Let's just say… Gibby wouldn't be… Ya know what, never mind.

Now, as Gibby laid on the floor, clutching an injured area that you do _not _want injured, and me yelling at Sam to stop strangling, even though I wanted her to… Freddie easily wrapped his arms around Sam's waist and pulled her off of Nora.

"Assaulter!" Nora yelled, pointing her finger at Sam.

Sam took no time to respond. "Kidnapper!"

I couldn't help but notice Freddie's arms were still wrapped around her, but I didn't take anything from it… Because Sam would commit murder if he let her go.


	11. iDidn't Say That Right?

**Caution: Extremely short, but important chapter awaits you.**

Sam POV

C'mon, it's not like I was gonna kill her! I was just gonna strangle her until she stopped breathing! Ugh, I _just _wanna get _outta _here. I've been wacky smacked a little too much tonight and I seriously don't wanna spend _my _New Years here.

"Let go of me!" I yelled at Freddie.

Oh… Shoot… I think I just gave him an idea.

"Ya know what? No. Not until you talk to me," he bargained as his grasp became tighter.

"Freddie…" Carly pleaded.

I've always liked Carly.

"Nope," Freddie said, not giving up on his dim-witted goal.

"I will _talk _to you when I wanna _talk _to you," I told him, elbowing him in the gut. That always seemed to work – and this time was no exception.

He stopped holding on to me and held on to his stomach instead. Wimp.

"Sam!" Carly scolded, walking towards us to take care of the doubled-over Freddie.

"Don't hurt my boyfriend!" Oh God, Nora. Shut up. Not for me, but for your own good.

"For the _last flipping time_, Nora, he's not your boyfriend, he's mine!" Oh crap.

All of 'em looked shocked, excluding Gibby, who looked lost. "He is?"


	12. iCreate Silence

Freddie POV

Huh? I tried to catch Sam's eyes from across the room, which she quickly averted, followed by an excuse to get away from me. "I gotta go to the bathroom."

And then she hurried out of the room.

"Sam!" At first, I thought that Carly was the one who said this, but then I realized I was yelling it with her.

But, of course, that didn't matter at all, because she didn't stop for either of us, closing the bathroom door with a violent slam.

"Who wants a smoothie?"

I wish Sam would've killed her. I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. What she said… What was that supposed to _mean_? Me thinking about it nonstop, what was _that _supposed to mean?

I grabbed Carly's wrist and pulled her away from Nora and Gibby, who were now arguing about something I couldn't care less about at the moment. "Go talk to Sam," I pleaded.

"Yeah. Like that's gonna happen."

I made it apparent that I was confused by my facial expression.

Carly sighed. "How long have you known Sam? She doesn't _talk _to people when she's upset or confused or… breathing. She _kicks _people."

"And you won't risk that for your _best _friend's sake?"

"Will you?" she countered.

"That is so not fair, this is a girl thing and you know it."

"This is _not _a girl thing! Sam doesn't need me," she stopped and looked me in the eyes. "And _you _don't need me."

And then she walked back to Gibby, deliberately leaving out the last part. _You don't need me. You need Sam._ Carly was a smart girl, make no mistake about that. She could spot insincerity from a mile away, not that she chose to believe it at times. She had been watching me after I kissed Sam. And by watching me, she knew my every thought. I guess I was partially blamable for that. My open-book self and I didn't know what to do with ourselves.

Stealing one last glance at the newly formed trio in the corner, I sidestepped around the corner in the direction of the bathroom, which could quite possibly be the biggest mistake that I ever make, but it was worth a shot.

I rapped my knuckles against the wood door. "Sam?"

She opened the door and looked me dead in the eyes. "Back away slowly, and no one gets duct taped to a Gibby."

And then she _tried_ to close the door again. Emphasis on tried. As she pushed it closed, I pushed it open, keeping it in pretty much a stationary position until I overpowered her and got it open completely. I stepped inside and locked the door behind me.

"_What _do you _want _from me? I _told _you how I feel. I don't _like _to feel things. Feelings are for the depressed and elderly. I don't like to think things through, why can't you just-"

Normally, I wouldn't interrupt Sam Puckett, but hey, if the situation calls for it, I feel that it's completely necessary to kiss someone to get them to stop talking nonsense.

**Oh, fun stuff right there… I love havin' fun with my fan-tasies. Side note: Written while listening to Jennette Mccurdy's **_**So Close**_**. More to come!**


	13. iDunno

Carly POV

Freddie had disappeared without a trace. I guess he had gone to find Sam after all. That's not what bothered me, though. In fact, I think that's terrific. I _wish _I had the nerve to go talk to Sam. What scared me was that he had yet to come back. And when you go in search of Sam Puckett and don't come back within five to seven minutes, the state of Washington feels that it's necessary to notify the police… Immediately.

I know that Sam would never seriously hurt Freddie – threaten, maybe – but not injure. She loved him, which brings me to my next fear of what might be happening: What if Sam says something stupid? Freddie is just totally Catherine Sensitive. I'm pretty sure that I know Sam and Freddie – and their relationship – better than I know myself. Sam would be torn apart if she didn't have Freddie, whether it was as just a friend or a boyfriend.

And obviously Sam wasn't functioning properly with Freddie just being a friend. If she were… she wouldn't get so possessive when she-who-shall-not-be-named tried to make a move on him.

Gibby and Nora were arguing about something… Something… I'd been trying to figure out what it was, but I honestly think were speaking hooblefiggledooberish.


	14. iStall: Bathroom Style

**Lot of dialogue to come. Intense Seddie dialogue. You know you're a Seddie shipper when spell check recognizes the word 'Seddie'. **

Sam POV

If I knew what was going on; I swear, I would tell you.

"Sorry," he said.

"S'cool," was my response.

Whatever that 'déjà vu' crap people are always yappin about is, I think I'm experiencing it.

But anyway, I honestly was cool with whatever he just did. He had kissed me. That part _was_ cool. And if he ever wanted to do that again - Hey, I'd be cool with that, too. It's this awkward, confusing, aftermath chizz that's got me… Well… Awkward and confused.

Wait a minute, why am _I _the one who's awkward and confused? _He _kissed _me_. So I might've kissed him back. Who cares? Who wouldn't? I just… Don't… Get it. _Why_? Why now of all times? Of all places! We were _locked _in a psycho chick's house. Not to mention that said 'psycho chick' also has a psycho family. This is not the time to act on flipping teenage dating issues.

"I love you."

"Shut up."

_Not the time._

"Why, Sam? You don't want me to love you?"

Don't get all heartfelt. It wasn't like he was being sincere. It was like he was quizzing me.

He continued on with his accusations. "Do you love me?"

"_Shut up_."

I reached for the doorknob, my key to freedom. He grabbed my arm. What, did he think that would work? I have _two _arms. I opened the door with my other hand, which he slammed shut and stood in front of.

"Turd."

"Thank you," he smirked.

"What do you want from me?"

"I just wanna know some stuff."

"Which stuff?"

"_Some_."

I had no other resorts. I kicked him where it counts, to no avail.

"Are you wearing a-"

"It's shameful how you think I don't know you."

I'm smiling. Stop it, smile. Smile, go away.

"You disgust me."

"You're _really_ helping yourself, aren't you?"

"I'll answer your questions, Freddie… When we're back in Seattle."

"Or you could do it now saying that it's your only option."

I smirked. That's my dork. I've trained him well. I looked behind me at the counter. I lifted myself up onto it and leered some more.

"Ten questions max. Yes or no. Go."

"Gotta answer 'em truthfully."

"Can't use big words."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Just start."

Seriously, that was kinda pointless.

He rubbed his hands together. "Okay. Do you love me?"

"Yes." No hesitation. He knew.

"Do you love anyone else?"

"No."

"Do you miss being my 'girlfriend'?" He used quotation marks with his fingers.

"Occasionally."

"Ya know, _you_ made up the rule that they had to be yes or no questions."

"That wasn't a question."

"Okay," he said and took a step closer to me. I could see it in his new devious smile. He had something planned. "What would you do if I kissed you right now?"

"Well, I guess there's only one way to find out, now, isn't there?"

His face was about an inch from mine. I could feel his breath, whereas I strictly inhaled through my nose.

"Is that a challenge?"

My eyes dropped to his lips. "A mission. If you choose to accept it."

And then there was no need to look at his lips.

Because I could feel them.

It was just one kiss. One _long_ kiss, actually. It kinda reminded me of our first kiss, except this one was less discomfited. It was just… Working. And I liked it.

With his face now a mere centimeter from mine, he whispered a phrase that would probably be life altering – Because I already knew the answer. "Do you miss being my girlfriend?"


	15. iKiss: Remix

** It has occurred to me that I have left a cliff hanger… And as I DM'd one of you… That was a mistake and I forgot to type the last sentence. So I'm updating fast! I'm goin on a road trip soon, so there will be tons of time for typing. Too bad it probably won't be for this story, for it is coming to an end! But keep reading! **

Freddie POV

"_Do you miss being my girlfriend?"_ I had asked her.

She looked confused – like she was in some deep thought process. She was still sitting on the counter, my arms wrapped around her waist. She reached up her hand and placed it on the side of my face. She ran her thumb across my cheek.

And then she kissed me. And not just a small peck on the cheek. She kissed me once or twice, making each one as long as possible. As she pulled away, she found my eyes in the poorly lit room.

"Yes or no?" Jeez, I'm a dork.

She smiled, like she was preparing to say some sarcastic joke about how I'm a helpless case who will never be loved. And then she kissed me again. Same kiss as last time, like they were scripted.

"And if I do?" she challenged.

"What would you prefer the end result be?"

"Well, this would be nice."

"What would be n-"

And then she kissed me again. So, uh… How many kisses was that again? A lot, I think that was a lot.

"So you would like _this _to end like _that_?" I asked, smiling.

She hopped off the counter, took my hand and took me back into the living room. Somehow, I think that was her way of unofficially announcing something.

**Short, but I think you liked it. I can't wait to get em out of Nora's house. And if you know where that whole *Kiss* "Yes or no?" thing is from, leave it in the review. Oh… I love random 90s shows in my fanfics. =]**


	16. iRing In the New 'Ear'

Carly POV

He was back. _They _were back. And they were both wearing matching smirks. Sam smacked him in the chest with her hand and motioned for him to lean down. She whispered something in his ear. I have no idea what it was. I can only hope that it was a way to get us out of here. Freddie's eyes widened and his mouth formed a gaping 'o'.

Luckily, Freddie didn't attempt to whisper back. He just spoke his answer. I still couldn't hear it, saying that they were paused at the end of the hallway. However, I am an avid lip reader and we all know it. I took classes at the community center.

"_Ya think so?" _he 'said'.

Sam nodded her head.

"_You have an evil mind, Puckett."_

"_I know."_

Sam suddenly ran towards Nora and Gibby and the corner.

"Hey, Nora!" she yelled enthusiastically into her ear.

"Yes, Sam?"

"There's an octopus in your bathroom sink! Do you wanna come see it?"

This was so a set-up. Sam grabbed her wrist and led her down the hallway until she was out of my eyesight. Freddie walked towards me and crossed his arms over his chest.

"So I see you're alive," I concluded.

"I am," he confirmed.

"How'd it go in there?" I asked, taking a sip of the water which I made Nora drink first. Ya know… Just in case.

He thought about it for about half of a minute. "Decent," he said, smiling and nodding his head.

"And by decent, you mean…" I led on.

"Good."

I sighed and peeked down the hallway, still not seeing Sam _or _Nora. Gibby walked over to us to join in our conversation.

"So what was Sam's plan?" I asked him. "Just lock her in a bathroom?"

"Something like that."

Sam came darting down the hallway towards us, laughing her head off.

Gibby and I looked at her, confused, while Freddie held his smirk.

"She's so stupid," Sam breathed out between her laughs.

"So what do we do now?" Gibby asked.

Just as Gibby said that, a man walked through the door from the kitchen, steering a wheelbarrow. It was covered, though. I had no idea what was in it. I just hoped that _I _wouldn't be wheeled out in it… Yeah. I've heard those stories.

"Hello, kids!" he yelled in a way too loud voice.

Sam didn't get scared too easily, but she was scared now and I could tell. She backed into Freddie until she couldn't anymore.

"Hello…" Freddie said nervously.

"Well, hey… Do you kids wanna surprise?" he asked with a creepy smile.

"No, thank you," Sam said.

"Naw…" the man said, ignoring Sam's answer. "Anyway, me and Mrs. D thought you kids may get lonely so we gotcha y'all these babies," he said, pulling the sheet off the wheelbarrow.

It was just a bunch of disassembled mannequins… Of us. Gibby, being the shirtless wonder that he is, picked up his fake head and kissed it.

"And these are so we won't get lonely?" I asked in shock, holding my new fake arm.

"Uh-huh!" he said, handing Sam a head.

I don't know what was wrong with her, but she seriously did not like this man. She was like a little girl at a department store who was scared of Santa Claus. She looked at the head in his hand and held on to Freddie's shirt sleeve.

"Well, that's okay…" the man said, returning the head to the wheelbarrow. "You can assemble 'em yourselves. I'll be in the kitchen," he looked around the room one last time. "Say… Where's Nora?"

"She went to the bathroom," Gibby said.

He accepted that answer with a nod of his head. And then he was gone.

I dropped my 'arm' and faced Sam. "Are you okay?"

She released Freddie's shirt but still stayed backed into him. "That's my mom's ex-boyfriend!"

"I've _met _all of your mom's boyfriends. He's not one of them," I assured her.

"I _swear _that was him."

"No, it wasn't," Gibby added.

Sam looked confused, which turned into anger. "And how do you know-"

"That's his brother."

Sam looked around the room like she was being punk'd. "And how do you know _that_?"

"I met 'em both at make-a-gingerbread-house this year… Nice guys."

Sam took a step closer to Gibby. "You're an idiot."

Gibby looked hurt. "But I like gingerbread…"

Nora came racing towards us. "Sam! I finally got the door to stop being jammed!"

Sam swung her arm in a fake gung-ho way. "Great."

All of New York's voices filled the house. "In ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

I'm not sure if what happened next was Sam's revenge on Gibby, but it was funny either way. As Nora leaned over to kiss her 'boyfriend', Sam's brain went into overdrive. She pulled Freddie back so Nora kept leaning, right onto Gibby. Watching Nora make out with Gibby's ear; The highlight of my new year.


	17. iGo BeddyBye

Sam POV

Oh… Revenge is sweet. And it's even sweeter when you get to do it on two people at the same time. Plus, Freddie was mine. I didn't know she was _that _stupid. If I want it, it's mine.

"Unhappy two thousand twelve," he whispered to me.

"Unhappy two thousand twelve," I said back.

While Gibby and Nora argued about something – they were always doing that… I figured I would be the one to always be at Nora's throat – Carly sauntered over to me and Freddie.

"Did someone already make the 'unhappy two thousand twelve' joke yet?"

"Covered," Freddie conceded.

"Fantastic," she said sarcastically. "Look, we're obviously not gonna get out of here tonight."

"Well, what do you expect us to do? Go sleep soundly on their evil furniture?" Freddie asked, motioning to the couch and chair.

"Yeah? Well, maybe if we did that, she'd trust us so we can betray that trust and get the heck outta here!" she whisper-yelled.

"Well, Carly," I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "If you have any more evilly genius ideas, please don't feel the need to keep them to yourself."

She smiled proudly.

"Hey, Nora?" I led on. "We're _really _tired…"

"Well, why do you think I left you these blankets, silly monkeys?"

Not gonna lie. I'm furious that she actually planned to keep us here overnight. Then again, she planned to keep us here forever, so…

"Do you think we could get some sleep?"

"Sure! I'm gonna get some, too…" she headed towards the kitchen door. "Don't forget to assemble your mannequins!"

And then she was gone. But I couldn't help but notice that she had kinda peeked under one of the couch pillows. I raced to look under it and found something miraculous. Something that parents all over the world yelled at us for using. Something that could very well save our lives…

Cell phones.

**Short? Yes. Life changing? **

**Yes.**


	18. iPhone A Friend

**I'd like to state up front that these twists and turns aren't my idea. I simply keep finding photos and promos and… Have you read Dan's latest blog? More spoilers which I feel the need to work in. So there, you've been forewarned.**

Freddie POV

It was a flipping gold mine. Our flipping cell phones. Ours. As I greedily took mine from Sam's hand, I noted her facial expression. She wore the toothiest grin that I've ever seen – And I couldn't blame her. We were one step closer to getting out of here.

I quickly dialed the number that I now regretted not putting on speed dial, despite her pleas on how dangerous the world is and how I would need her at the most random times and how I would want her to be on speed dial so she was reachable right away. You may have guessed who it is by now.

"Who are you calling?" Carly asked.

"My mom," I said as I heard the ringtone.

"Your _mom_?" Sam asked in disbelief. "What, is she gonna fend us off with cue tips and sugar free lollipops? I don't think so," she said and dialed a number on her own phone.

"Who are _you_ calling?" Carly again.

"T-bo."

Well, that should be interesting.

"_FREDDIE!"_

"Mom, I'm right here."

"_Where are you?"_

"Well, you know Nora-"

"_And why did the chip stop working?"_

"It was just some water-"

"_What address are you at?"_

"What address am I at…" I looked to Carly and Gibby for help. Sam was in a corner, whispering to T-bo. "I'm at…"

"4242 Flibbertigibbets st." Gibby supplied.

Because I'm sure everyone knows that off the top of their heads.

"_I'm coming, you stay on the phone with me, Fredward!"_

"No, mom. I can't stay on the phone with you."

"_And why is that? Oh, my baby…"_

I took this time to hang up on her. If she was in waterworks, I bet she wouldn't notice. Now that I was off the phone, I could hear Sam's conversation clearly. She wasn't talking quietly at all. My mom was just yelling extremely loud.

"Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah!"

Sam was giddy with a plan.

"Yeah, okay do that… No, for the love of cheese, _please _don't do that… Yeah… Yeah, I'll see you soon… Later, Teebs."

Sam skipped over to us.

"Is he coming?" Gibby asked.

Sam nodded and smiled.

"Is he bringing help?" Carly continued on.

"_And _food," she stated proudly. "How great am I?"

As Carly and Gibby high fived her quietly – not trying to wake up anybody – a thought formed in my head. Evil… Maybe. But I never got to put my plan into action. Because just as Sam turned to me, she grabbed my chin, yanked me down to her level, and pecked me on the lips. She then released me, not even giving what she did a second thought.

Carly gave me a knowing, amused look while I don't think Gibby was paying attention at all, for he was assembling his mannequin. Three seconds later, he gathered a blanket and his mannequin and headed in the direction of the bathroom. Something tells me that none of us are going to stop him.

Carly smiled at me and Sam. "So do you two wanna tell me what's goin on?"

Sam took a swig of water. "I hear our government's real messed up."

She smirked. "Whatever…" she said and started to assemble her mannequin.

Sam just looked at the wheelbarrow of parts – that's not weird at all – and brushed it off, deciding to sit on the couch. I sat down next to her, deciding that the bucket of plastic was too creepy. She nonchalantly scooted closer to me so our arms were touching, keeping a poker face the whole time.

I'm telling you, it's like she made some unannounced claim back in that bathroom.

**Kissing makes the Seddie world go 'round. Dan says there'll be a little tribute iFence… Hmm… ;)**


	19. iFind Dreamland

Carly POV

I believe that these mannequins require some adult assembling. I looked over at Sam for help – highly unlikely in the first place – only to find her wrapped in Freddie's arms, asleep. Half of my brain made the 'aw' sound while the other half grew green with envy.

I took this lonesome opportunity to see if I could get through to Spencer yet. I'm assuming that the person who got Spencer downstairs was the man who brought us the mannequins – otherwise known as the Dershlit dad.

I walked over to the basement door and shook the handle, only to find that it was unlocked. Oh yes, I'm a smooth criminal. I peeked my head out from behind the railing and found Spencer… Alone… Asleep… Tied to a wheel.

And I thought I had weird family and friends. I made sure that he was actually alone and then made my way down the rest of the stairs. I swiveled Spencer so he was right side up, waking him up in the meantime.

"C-Carly…" he stuttered.

He had a big stain on his shirt, presumably from him chuckin' up all over the place. That's it. This is turning into a concentration camp and I _need _to get out of here. I untied his ankles and wrists. I should of thought ahead that he would be too dizzy to support his own weight. But it was too late, because now I was toppled over, laying on the floor.

He slowly lifted himself up off the floor, shaking his head. He held out his hand for me, which I took and feebly lifted myself up, mumbling random phrases like "A tractor came…"

He looked paranoid and slapped his hand over my mouth, which I didn't bother to fight against. It was twelve thirty in the morning. He nursed me up the stairs, tiptoeing on each step like some kind of… Feline ninja.

His eyes darted around the living room. He still hadn't said a word. I _knew _they had tortured him. He took in all his surroundings. Half drunk glasses of water; a half eaten bowl of guacamole; party hats; Sam and Freddie laying on the couch.

"Where'd they go?" he whispered.

"To sleep."

"Oh."

And just like that, he snapped out of his feline ninja state and started acting semi-normal again – Eating tortilla chips and downing Wahoo Punch.

Between his food shoveling he pointed at Sam and Freddie. "What's that about?" he asked, dropping chip crumbs everywhere.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, no one tells me anything." I suddenly remembered what he promised me when we first got here. "Hey, hey, hey!"

"What? What? What?"

"What's your plan?"

"Oh yeah!" he yelled, bringing Sam out of her sleep.

She grumbled and nestled farther into Freddie, falling back asleep within seconds. Freddie clenched his arms tighter around her. They probably were doing it all involuntarily. It's like they were zombies. Great. I have one cat-like warrior and two undead humans.

"Tell me your plan quietly," I begged.

"No, you… You get some sleep," he said, yawning.

"But-"

"_Get _some _sleep_," he said again.

I sighed and grabbed my mannequin. I sat on the chair and drifted into Dreamland, finding that this chair is much more comfortable than it looks.

I'm having the strangest dream. But they say that when you have these kinds of dreams, they're… They're like predictions, right? Or something like that? Half of the house was caved in. There was an ATV just sitting in the middle of the room.

Everyone was frozen in place but me. Freddie, Sam, and T-Bo were sitting on a bench in the corner with worried glances… I assume I'm supposed to be there with them or something. Maybe not, I don't know. The strangest part was they were all eating popcorn. Looks like Sam will get food sometime soon. It was like they were watching a joust. And when I turned around, I realized that they actually were.

Nora was in a warrior pose, holding a fencing sword – That being her only armor. There was another person. He was fully armed. He was pointing his fencing sword into the air. I would assume it's Freddie, but he was sitting in the corner, looking like a kid at a scary movie…

How in the world did this happen?


	20. iAnswer ONE Question: Just One

Sam POV

I've been awoken from my sleep. What did they expect me to do, slowly drift back? Nuh-uh. Since Freddie didn't seem to wanna let me go, I just stayed there on his lap, resting my head into the crook of his neck. I wouldn't mind it one bit if only we were back in Seattle.

Spencer walked through the door and into the kitchen, hopefully not returning. He was the one who woke me up. Therefore, I must theoretically smite him. Carly was blissfully asleep on the chair, like I wish I could be.

I squirmed in his arms, trying to get comfortable. He pulled me closer to him. "Go to sleep, Sam…"

"_Right_… Because it's just my life goal to stay awake right about now," I snarked.

"Shut up, Sam," he mumbled against my hair.

"Hmm…" I sat for a few seconds, then nudged him in the ribs.

He jolted awake, grasping me tighter. It was like I was some kind of teddy bear that a child slept with. I made obvious choking noises, bringing my hands to cover my throat.

"Sorry," he said, not releasing me, but loosening his grasp.

"S'cool," I responded.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes, listening to the Dershlits snore all the way from upstairs.

"So you woke me up just to say that?" Freddie broke the silence.

"Pretty much," I said coolly.

The light bulbs were brightly burning above us. No one wanted to turn out the lights. Would _you _want to? Think about it.

"I'm tired," I proclaimed.

I felt him smirk against my head. "If only there were a cure for that."

"Don't test me," I remarked. I unhooked his arms from around me and sat next to him instead, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"Maybe we shouldn't be sleeping," he said.

More silence. "And what do you suppose we do?"

"Just talk."

"That sounds stupid," I said bluntly.

"Golly gee, you make a guy feel good," he answered.

I sighed. "Fine. Talk about what?"

"Hmm. Would you oppose to a quick game of twenty questions?" he asked.

"Who's answering?"

"You," he said quickly.

"I already answered questions today. Pick another game, Freddie," I said adamantly.

"Alright. How about an intense game of _one _question?" he countered.

"Will I still be answering?"

"I think you can handle one question, Sam," he assured.

"I don't think I can, but go ahead, prove me wrong," I challenged, lifting my head off of his shoulder.

"Okay," he accepted, absent mindedly twirling my hair around his finger. He leaned over to whisper in my ear. "What are we?"

He pulled his head away from my ear and I looked him in the eyes. "Tired. Oh look, game over."

"You lose," he said.

"Excuse me?"

"You. Lose," he said, pulling me back onto his lap. "Now _I _get to say what we are," he stated.

I smirked. This could be interesting. "Go on," I dared.

"All right, then. _We_… Are best friends."

Oh…

He continued on. "_We_… Are in love."

That one was cool.

He took a breath. "_We_… Are each other's."

I liked that one, too.

"And that is what we are," he finished.

I put on a half grin, half smirk. "That's interesting."

He cocked his head to the side.

"Because I thought we were dating," I smiled.

"Well…" he said, stretching out the word. "I suppose that's one way of putting it." He smiled and pushed the hair out of my face. "And what are we doing differently this time? How are we changed?"

"Well, baby, that's simple," I said, patting his chest. "We do what I want because I said so."

He took the phrase into consideration, then nodded his head. "That works… So if I took your hand now, what would you do?"

"I'd hold it," I whispered.

He tested his theory. My words reigned true as I interlaced our fingers.

"What would you do if I told you I was going to die tomorrow?" he continued.

"I'd say we all are," I answered truthfully.

"What if I asked you that if we were back in Seattle?" he corrected.

I thought for a minute. He would totally hold this over me. "I'd cry."

I felt my eyelids start to droop. His voice was soothing… It was making me tired…

"If I said 'I love you, Sam'…"

I felt my eyes close completely and I shamefully snuggled into his chest. "I love you, Freddie."


	21. iRiver Dance

**If you've watched the sneak peek… IGNORE IT AND MOVE ON WITH THE STORY. Oh and please remember that this isn't just a Seddie story; It's a speculation of iStill Psycho. There doesn't need to be a melodramatic scene in every chapter. **

Freddie POV

She was asleep… Finally. And just at that moment, something… Paranormal, maybe, happened… Carly and Sam started squirming violently at the same time. Perfect rhythm and everything. And then they just stopped altogether, Carly hugging her mannequin, Sam grasping on to my shirt.

Okay, so maybe that wasn't a _paranormal_ thing. Maybe it was just another… I don't know, best friend thing. It's weird, though. I thought I knew all of their best friend routines. But then, it seems like I've learned more tonight than over four or five years.

There was an ear piercing shriek from upstairs, waking them both up. Spencer ran into the living room from the kitchen.

"What was that?" he yelled.

Carly slowly picked herself up off the chair while Sam just rubbed her eyes and stayed where she was. Nora came racing down the stairs singing show tunes at top volume. "OH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MOOOOOOORNING… OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY…"

Sam groaned and opened her eyes, still not moving, though.

"Good morning, all!" Nora shouted.

Sam waved it off and closed her eyes again. Nora saw it and leaned over in Sam's ear. "SAM, WAKE UP!"

Sam jolted awake and took a swing at Nora, which she swiftly avoided.

"Rise and shine, my angels!" she yelled again.

Sam stood up, pulling me with her. She grabbed my wrist and looked at my watch. "It's _one_!"

"In the _morning_," Nora finished.

Sam and Nora argued about something while another thing outside the window caught my eye. It was a person… I knew that. Wait, no… That wasn't a person. It was T-Bo. He mouthed something at me, which I could barely distinguish. I was still partially asleep.

"_Where's the bathroom?"_ he mouthed.

Oh… _That's_ why Gibby was there… With my arm and hand still by my side, I pointed in the direction of the bathroom. T-Bo caught the motion and moved around the side of the house. As I turned back to the people in the room, I saw Nora start to literally bark at Sam again.

I pulled her closer to me and wrapped my arms around her protectively. Nora was scary, there was no denying that. The mom and dad came prancing in to the living room and attempted to pull Nora away from Sam.

I saw Gibby tiptoe towards the living room, down the hallway. He waved his arm to get my attention, which he already had.

"_Sam_," he mouthed, pointing at the girl who I was holding back from the crazy family.

Slyly, I tapped Sam's arm. She looked at my eyes, which I diverted towards Gibby. Sam looked at him, while making it look like she was looking at the family. I'm pretty sure Carly had seen Gibby, as she was capturing the Dershlit's attention, making up a talent called 'immature river dancing' which included flailing of the arms and randomly calling out the word 'HEY' now and then. But it seemed to be working, as the Dershlits smiled and clapped and requested encores.

Gibby pointed behind him and T-Bo walked out. Sam grinned upon seeing him. It was then that I realized I was still holding her. I released her, instead opting to stand next to the girl. T-Bo pulled out a greasy bag from behind his back, to which Sam mouthed "_Later"_. I was shocked. That was _food _that T-Bo had. And Sam had just ignored it. I'm glad to see that Sam had some self control. It was weird, though. I was used to the impulsive, hungry Sam. Oh well. I guess being locked in an insane family's house changes you. Plus, it was one in the morning. She wasn't thinking straight.

Sam shook her eyes between T-Bo and the Dershlits. I assume it was her version of saying "Hey, quietly attack"… I snapped my fingers, trying to get Carly's immature river dancing attention. She kept her eyes locked, but snapped her finger, too, to let me know that she saw. Right now, I'm glad that we had all those kidnapping TV show nights. Carly suddenly cut the dancing short, which the Dershlits whined about. Her eyes frantically searched the room for something to distract them. She took interest in the snack table from last night.

"Hey, everyone!" she started. "I, uh… I-I think something in the guacamole moved!"

That was actually pretty clever for Carly. Spencer, who had been standing in the corner, dropped to the floor and curled up in a ball. I honestly think he was lying when he said he had a plan. Gibby held out his hand to T-Bo, who handed him a pair of handcuffs. Alright, who in their right minds gave T-Bo handcuffs?

**That's all for now, folks! Merry Christmas Eve Eve to you and your kin! Hmm… What will happen next? ;)**


	22. iTold You!

Carly POV

I knew full well what Sam and Gibby and T-Bo's plan was. That dream told me everything. Halfway through it, Sam started to unfreeze and be confused with me. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Gibby and T-Bo slapped handcuffs on the deranged parents, ignoring their protests, including Nora's. Oh crap, Nora!

She took the metal spoon out of the guacamole and wacked Gibby over the head repeatedly. I was impressed with Gibby, though. He only faltered once, and that was to release one hand and grab the spoon. So instead, Nora grabbed the whole glass bowl and smashed it over his head.

Gibby's knees went week as he dropped to the floor, holding on to the dad's legs, not letting go, though. Mr. Dershlit tried walking around to shake him off, but he couldn't do much without his arms. Nora was trying to get T-Bo's attention to distract him, but he kept sniffing the mom's hair, saying that it smelled like 'co-co-nut'.

Long story short, Mr. Dershlit started to release some… Um… Excess gas on Gibby's face. It tortured _me _from afar, but Gibby didn't seem to even notice it.

Sam started yelling. "Gibby, get up and take 'em away!"

Gibby slowly got up until he was latched onto the man's arm again.

He and T-Bo pulled the parents down the hall until we heard a large slam, presumably locking them in the bathroom.

Nora stared at me, Sam, and Freddie. Sam and Freddie were just a whole other story which I don't even know where to start. They seemed to have the perfect friendship yesterday morning… Now… I'm pretty sure it wasn't a friendship. Eh. I'll ponder it later. Ha, that's a funny word. Ponder. Pooooooooooooonder. Pondeeeeeeeeeer. Don't mock me, you would be struggling for entertainment, too, if you were locked in a psycho girl's house.

Nora started laughing. "Well! I'm glad we got _them _out of the way. They were annoying," she sang.

I walked over to stand by Sam and Freddie to add to their identical looks of disgust.

"Oh my! Where are my manners?" Nora exclaimed.

"Maybe you left 'em at _prison_!" Sam interrupted before Nora could finish her thought.

Nora thought for a moment. "No… That's not it!" she walked over to the snack table and unveiled a giant birthday cake. "Did you guys want some breakfast?"

I watched Freddie's fists clench. "It's _one _in the _mo_-"

He didn't exactly get to finish his sentence because Sam slapped her hand over his mouth.

"What Freddie was trying to say was…" Sam started, "We would _love _to have breakfast."

"Goodie!" Nora said and started slicing the cake. Hopefully, never to touch that knife again.

Freddie yanked Sam's hand off his mouth and started whisper-shouting. "What are you guys doing? That stuff could be loaded with poison! Our goal is to get out of here, not eat some cake with rainbows and sunshine!"

Sam shrugged her shoulders. "You don't have to have any."

"Yeah," I butt in as I took the cake from Nora. "We're starving and weak."

Nora held out a plate for Freddie, which he looked at in repugnance. "No thanks," he snarked.

"Oh, so you're not in the mood for cake, huh?" Nora asked, dropping the plate on the floor and grabbing Freddie's collar. "I have something sweeter for you to taste."

She then took the opportunity to throw Freddie on the coffee table and start makin' out with him. I nudged Sam's arm. "Aren't you gonna stop that?"

She looked at them for a few seconds and then turned back to me. "Nah, I give up, he's a big boy now."

I shrugged and went back to eating cake. By the time Freddie managed to push Nora off of him and get up, it was almost gone. It was really good cake. Freddie stared at us for a minute, waiting for a response. Then, he realized that if he wanted a response, he would have to say something first.

"You guys just _stood_ there while I was _tampered _with?" he asked, choosing his words carefully.

I picked at the remains of my cake, letting Sam answer with her mouth full. "This is really good cake."

"_Really_?" he yelled in shock.

I looked up at him. "Hey, we told you that you should've had some."


	23. iGive And Take

Sam POV

The cake was good. But that little make-out session of Freddie and Nora's has pretty much scarred me for life. He looked at me with sad eyes. Looks like he was scarred for life, too. God. I dropped the cake on the coffee table and pulled him closer to me. I graced his lips with mine and let him do what he wanted. I knew he wanted to boil his face right about now. This seemed like the next best option.

He separated our lips and whispered in my ear. "Thank you."

"Freddie!" Nora yelled.

He sighed into my neck and slowly turned to face her.

"Are you cheating on me right in front of my face?" she interrogated.

He cleared his throat like he was about to say something important. "_Yes._"

Nora ran towards me and wrapped her hands around my neck like I did to her. I started to lose my breath. Everything was hazy. I could feel all three of them trying to pull her off, or me away. But they all failed. She was too strong. I kicked her repeatedly. Nothing. And then everything went black.

**This was pretty much a chaplet. I know I owe you guys something bigger since I took a Christmas vacation, but the next chapter is the last and it's gonna be long. Happy iCarly eve! **


	24. iWrap It Up

**Last chapter, one and all… Oh, and I haven't seen iStill Psycho yet. I won't watch it until I upload this chapter. I was in a cable free and internet free location on New Years Eve and wrote this during my free time. Longer author's note at the end, but for now, enjoy the last chapter! **

Freddie POV

No, no, no, no, no… Spencer had gotten up out of his place in the corner to help. But obviously his help didn't exactly help. This is scary. This is bad. This is very, very bad. I've been on the ground for two minutes, rotating between CPR and resuscitation.

I felt light headed and stopped for a few seconds, only to give Nora look of disgust. She was a monster. An evil, awful, _sickening monster_. _She_ is a true monster. I started pumping on Sam's chest again.

"Call the paramedics," I told no one in particular.

"Silly, the paramedics don't come here anymore…" Nora giggled.

I ignored her and went back to trying to save Sam myself.

With one seriously lucky last breath of life, she started coughing.

Thank the Lord in heaven. I took her in my arms and carried her to the small sofa in the corner of the room, ignoring everyone else's eyes and trying to keep Sam's open. I dipped one of the evil birthday napkins in an evil glass of water and placed it over her forehead.

"What happened?" she asked groggily.

I took the vague road. "Stuff."

If Sam found out she had been defeated – by Nora, nonetheless – she would flip out. She accepted the answer with a nod and a shrug.

"Here," I said, grabbing the glass of water and holding it to her lips. "Drink."

She took a sip and instantaneously spit it back out, gagging. "Not water," she gasped.

"It's vinegar!" Nora called from the other side of the room.

I scowled. Sam scrunched up her face, trying to get the vinegar taste out. Carly walked over to us and gave me a water bottle. Perhaps filled with water. I thanked her with a nod and she smiled lightly, walking back to Spencer and Nora. I held the bottle to Sam's lips and she sipped from it slowly.

T-Bo came skipping down the hallway and into the living room. "The ankle biters attacked the boy child."

"Ankle biters?" Spencer repeated, confused.

"Toddlers?" Carly added.

T-Bo shook his head. "No… What I meant to say was they attacked the boy child and now they're biting his ankles."

It seemed interesting to me, actually. I honestly don't think that 'psychotic' was the correct word to describe these people. Possibly… 'Creative'. In their craziness, of course. Spencer took off towards the bathroom while T-Bo stayed here. He held up a greasy bag and turned towards me and Sam.

"Yo, Sam!" he called.

She looked up and saw the bag. The food that T-Bo had promised. He tossed it over and she caught it, opening it immediately. Popcorn filled to the brim.

Nora stomped over to us and took the bag away. "No outside food and/or beverages!"

Sam stood up and took the bag back, shoveling it in her face and then singing with her mouth full. "Nah nah nah nah nah nah!"

Carly and T-Bo remained in the middle of the room, watching from afar. I stood up and crossed my arms, prepared to tear apart Nora and Sam if need be. And just as Sam was about to totally dump the whole bag over Nora's head, the side of the house caved in. I wrapped my arms around Sam, just an automatic reflex.

And there was my mom. In full fencing attire. And the joust that happened next between her and Nora was inevitable.

I knew Sam would be laughing her head off now if we weren't _here._

…

We were back to Bushwell. Finally. I kinda wonder if I'm just dreaming and I'm actually curled up with Sam on Nora's couch again. But nope. I'm in the iCarly studio, laughing at Sam and Carly and Spencer as they did 'The Cowboy and the Idiot Farm Girl Who Thought the Cowboy's Moustache Was a Squirrel'.

And as all three of us stomped downstairs, I ran over the events of the past day. Some of my thoughts included what a terrible, awful, sinful world we live in. But most of the thoughts included Sam. We had entered that house as awkward best friends. Now I don't think we were friends anymore. We were so much more. I pondered over this all while standing at the counter, drinking from my can of Wahoo Punch.

I must've been so deep in thought that I didn't notice her come up behind me, steal my Wahoo Punch and claim it as her own. I simply smiled at her. The Wahoo Punch wasn't one of my prized possessions. She tossed the now empty can in the recycle bin and smiled back at me.

"Alright. I've waited for a whole day. Is someone gonna tell me?" Carly asked from the other side of the counter.

"Tell you what?" I asked.

I wasn't oblivious, I knew what she wanted to know. I still had fun making her ask, though.

"What is going on between you two?" she pestered further.

Sam ripped off her hat and moustache, then tilted her head up slightly to look at me.

And it was her next four words that now live in the iCarly history book. "I like his face."

…

**The end! I have a few certain reviewers that I wanna thank real quick, so you can skip to the end of this author's note if you wanna! **

**annierocket****: I'll always remember your username because you were my first reviewer EVER on Fanfiction. So… Yay for you!**

**Seddie . is .epic.73****: You were a loyal reviewer and I'm glad you discovered my very first story! Thank you for putting up with that one late night 'I'm bored' PM. I appreciate that.**

**BetterThanGold****: Your reviews always stood out to me because no matter how often I update, you always end with 'UPDATE SOON!' And that actually motivated me to update faster, so thank you! **

**And thank you to everyone who added this to their favorite stories and story alerts and everything! This got over 18,000 hits and it's my very first published story, so I'm really excited about that. And I also thank everyone who added me to their favorite authors and author alert lists!**

…

**My next story that I'm publishing has been stashed on my computer for months. I can't wait for you to read it. xoxo, StupendousSeddie =]**


	25. iQuestion and Answer

**I've actually gotten a few PMs about this story, so I just thought I'd answer your questions publicly here. So if you wanna know about this story, read on. If not, go read something else. Don't watch TV. Reading saves lives.**

**Someone virtually yelled at me (Yeah, I'm talkin' to you!) saying that I should've written about how Sam enjoyed Freddie 'kissing' her when she passed out. Well, I'm just gonna put this out there: I've passed out before on countless occasions. And I've woken up with some guy's mouth on mine. I'm just saying – 'Wow, he's a good kisser' is not your first thought.**

**The reason nothing extremely fluffy and gooey happened was because I was doing my best to keep Sam in character. The fluffy stories always have, like, Sam's insecurities just eating her alive, and I never really portrayed Sam like that. I think that she's just this fun, zany girl who doesn't have as many problems with herself as she does with other people. So that's who Sam is to me.**

**So yeah, I guess I'll just keep adding on to this if I ever get more questions! Thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it. =]**


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